Father Knows Best by angelskuuipo
For my darling Feen. She hinted that a sequel to PS from Angel's POV would not go amiss and I could not disappoint. Thanks be to Gabrielle for the beta.
Spike has a soul.
Spike has a soul.
Spike has a soul.
Nope. No matter how I say it, I still can’t quite wrap my head around it. Doesn’t make it any less true, though. I can feel it. Hell, I can almost see it shining out of his blue eyes.
And he’s terrified. Not that he’ll admit it. Oh, no, not my childe. He’s got his snark on overdrive right now, doing his damnedest to get me to do something, anything, to him.
I can’t. I haven’t got a friggin’ clue what to do for him. Don’t get me wrong. I was tempted to beat him within an inch of his unlife when he told me what had gone on between him and Buffy, but it was more reflex than anything. I remember all too well her ‘I want you, stay away from me’ routine. Buffy Summers is a first class cock tease. Oh, don’t act so surprised. I did love her at first, but looking back, I realize that I loved the idea of her more than the person. I knew what she was doing, but it was easier to go along with it than get staked. There were days towards the end that I’d wished Angelus had finished her off. Everyone thinks I left Sunnydale because it was too painful to be around her. That’s kind of true. The headaches I was getting from arguing with Angelus were driving me crazy.
I can see how Spike would have fallen for her, though. He couldn’t kill her, so he chose to love her instead. My boy always has been a romantic. He can put on all the badass airs he wants, but he’s a poet at heart.
Now, how can I get him to stop pretending long enough to get him to talk to me? The others are gone for the day. Maybe now’s the time.
“William.” Shit, that flinch was bad. Does he really think I’m going to hurt him? Apparently so. Great, now comes the sneer and banty-rooster posturing.
“Talk to me.” Oh look, he cocks his head like a dog. It’s kind of cute.
“What’s there to talk about? You know all the sordid details. Just stake me and get it over with. Put me out of my fuckin’ misery.”
“Is it really that bad?” Jesus, are those tears in his eyes?
“Bad, Angel? Hell yes, it’s bad. I can’t sleep. I can’t feed, not that I was able to feed well before that fucking demon shoved this soul into me. I can’t go five minutes without reliving some evil that I’ve done. I don’t know how you’ve survived this long if this is what you’ve lived with every day for the past hundred years. I don’t think I can do this.”
Those last words were whispered so softly I don’t think I was meant to hear them.
“Of course you can do this. You’re strong, Spike. You’ll get through this.” And he will. I won’t let him give up.
“You actually sound like you mean it.”
“I do. I’ll also find a way to have the chip removed.”
“Who are you and what have you done with my sire?”
That boy could try the patience of a saint and I am far from being one. Let’s see if this will get his attention.
“Let go of me, ya great poof! Get off me!”
I’ve got him pinned to my bed. If he doesn’t quit squirming I’m going to lose my train of thought. Ow! Little shit bit me.
“Listen to me, childe. You are one of the strongest childer of the line of Aurelius after me. I gave you life and in doing so, I gave you strength. I will not have one of my line be unable to defend himself. I didn’t know about the chip until you told me or I would have seen to it sooner. Believe me, I will be having words with Giles.” Well that shut him up.
“Your human soul was gentle, but strong. You will find a way to blend the two and you will not be alone while you do it. You came to me for help and, by God, I’m going to give it to you. If I had come to you when the Rom first cursed me, I would be a very different person than I am today. But I didn’t. I was weak and scared and I ran. It’s one of my greatest regrets.” Fuck, hadn’t meant to say all this, but it’s too late to stop now. God, but he is beautiful. And it looks like he’s listening to me. “Don’t shut me out, sweet William. Share your fears and hopes with me. Let me help you.”
Okay, the last thing I expected was for him to kiss me, but I’m not going to complain. It’s been too long since we’ve been together this way, but I still remember his taste. It’s just as intoxicating as ever. Smoke, whiskey, the copper tang of blood, and that indefinable spice that is just pure William.
Hey! I liked that shirt. Oh god, no, don’t stop. Oh, okay, yeah, pants off is good. No, childe, not like that, turn around. There you go. Equals now, and if we’re lucky, equals in all things from now on.
I’m not letting you go, William. Not again. We won’t be alone anymore.
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