This isn’t the way it was supposed to go. That damn demon was supposed to make me a real vampire again, not give me a bloody soul. Now, not only can I not feed or defend myself, I wouldn’t want to even if I could. The thought of hurting anyone makes me feel sick. Though I suppose that could just be hunger. I can’t remember the last time I fed.
Jesus, is this what Angel deals with every day? Think I might owe my bastard sire an apology. Did I really just think that?
No, I refuse to be like him. I refuse to let guilt rule me. I am a vampire, and the things I’ve done are normal for my kind. Having a soul now doesn’t change that. I’m more of a man now than I ever would have been if I’d remained human. William was weak and ineffectual. I was much better off burying the git.
But he was never very far from the surface, if I’m honest with myself. The remnants of my human soul are what made it possible for me to love my Dark Princess for so long. It’s what kept me trying to please Angelus. It’s what made me think I was in love with the bloody Slayer.
Gods below, what am I going to do?
I don’t know that I can live like this. How pathetic can I be?
Here now, what’s this? Oh no, you stay the hell away from me, you worthless piece of shit. You’ve had your fun, now leave me in peace. I faced the very pits of Hell to pass your trials, and you didn’t even have the decency to take the fucking chip out like I wanted. I said, stay away!
Oh, bloody hell. Now what have you done to me? Where am I? Looks like a courtyard. What’s that? Cars…exhaust fumes…sirens…night-blooming jasmine. Civilization! This place doesn’t look familiar, though. Don’t recognize the building. Looks like an old hotel. Wait, that feels like…
Oh look, he cocks his head just like a dog.
“There’s something different about…Oh. My. God. William, what have you done?”
Somehow I think my smirk isn’t quite up to par. “Like father, like son, eh Sire?”
For some reason, the last thing I expected was for The Mighty Angel to hold out his hand to me.
“Come, childe. Let’s get you cleaned up and you can tell me what happened.”
This could prove interesting.
Written for the Fall_for_Spike LJ Community. Thanks be to Gabrielle for the beta. What happened after Spike got his soul? I personally despised him going crazy in the basement of SD High, so I changed things a bit. Feedback would be lapped up like cream.