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Fallin' by angelskuuipo
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Author's Notes:
Prompt: Willow/Angel with the Nickelback song Savin’ Me as inspiration.
Written for the wonderful Carla in honor of my Fifth Writing Anniversary. There’s shippiness if you tilt your head and squint really hard. I hope you like this, honey! Thanks be to Gabrielle for the beta.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Angel fought against the cage into which he’d been tossed. He howled his fury at Angelus as he was forced to watch the demon use his body and his voice to taunt and terrorize his friends. This was so much worse than what had happened after he’d made love to Buffy. He hadn’t actually had to bear witness to the things Angelus had done then. He hadn’t been there.

But he was here now and he was completely powerless. All because some two-bit actress wanted to be young forever, because she couldn’t see any downside to being undead, because she was shallow and weak and Angel had been taken in by her supposed vulnerability. He vowed he wouldn’t be such an easy mark next time…if there was a next time.

All he could do now was pray that Wesley and Cordelia managed to end him before one of them wound up dead at his hand. He cried and yelled and screamed at his demon, hoping to distract him, hoping to hurt Angelus like his soulless counterpart did him on a regular basis.

If he got control back, he was going to go to Willow. He wanted to know why she’d restored his soul, needed to know. Why had she thought him worth saving? As he rattled the bars of his prison, Angel realized that he’d never asked her that. He’d never really talked to her at all after he came back. That seemed like a grievous error, one which he needed to correct.

He felt Angelus flinch whenever he thought of Willow and smiled grimly. Angel fell to his knees and chanted her name, picturing her as clearly as he could. His voice got louder and louder until he was screaming her name and then everything went black.

~*~

By the time Wesley and Cordelia had let him out of the chains Angel had put aside the thought to talk to Willow. There was too much to be done. It wasn’t until years later, as he watched his son make love to his seer while fire rained down on his city, that he thought of her again.

Why had Willow saved him? Or had she? He had no memory of the time he’d been separated from his body in Sunnydale, just as he had no memory of the time between dying and the Rom originally cursing him. All he had were Angelus’ memories. Had he been in Heaven? Did it really matter? He was here now and he had to deal with that.

As he watched Connor and Cordelia, the pain he felt was almost overwhelming. So many things he could have done differently, so many other choices he could have made. The ‘what ifs’ would tear him apart if he let them, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to fight anymore.

Would Willow think he was worth saving if she could see him now?

He stood on the ledge of the building and contemplated jumping. Maybe he’d get lucky and accidentally stake himself. With a shake of his head, Angel withdrew. He had a city to try and save.

~*~

He almost let her go without saying anything after she restored his soul for the second time, but he couldn’t. He had to know.

Angel caught Willow by the hand just before she got into her car with Faith. Faith gave him a nod and a half-smile and got in, leaving them alone.

Willow looked at him curiously and waited for him to speak. He gazed at her a little helplessly then finally blurted out, “Why?”

She stared at him blankly. “Why what, Angel?”

“Why do you keep saving me? Do you really think I’m worth the risk?” He whispered the last, almost afraid to hear her answer.

Willow took his face in her hands and made sure he was looking at her. She gave him a small smile and said, “Always. You’re my friend, Angel. I’ll always do my best to save you if I can.” She leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “If you start to fall again, call my name, and I’ll do my best to catch you,” she whispered.

Angel folded her into his arms and held on tight.

-30-

Savin' Me by Nickelback

Prison gates won't open up for me
On these hands and knees I'm crawlin'
Oh, I reach for you
Well I'm terrified of these four walls
These iron bars can't hold my soul in
All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

[Chorus:]
Show me what it's like
To be the last one standing
And teach me wrong from right
And I'll show you what I can be
Say it for me
Say it to me
And I'll leave this life behind me
Say it if it's worth saving me

Heaven's gates won't open up for me
With these broken wings I'm fallin'
And all I see is you
These city walls ain't got no love for me
I'm on the ledge of the eighteenth story
And oh I scream for you
Come please I'm callin'
And all I need from you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

[Chorus]

Hurry I'm fallin'

All I need is you
Come please I'm callin'
And oh, I scream for you
Hurry I'm fallin', I'm fallin', I'm fallin'

[Chorus]

Hurry I'm fallin'

Skin Design by Amy



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